on FORGIVENESS

Forgiveness is defined as the process of concluding resentment, indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offense, difference or mistake, and ceasing to demand punishment or restitution. Oxford defines it as , to grant free pardon and to give up all claim on account of an offence or debt'....

hmmmmmm depending on the degree of a thing done to us maybe also is the degree too of how easy it will be also to forgive.. this i think is the commmon track of thought.

if we have been victimized from child abuse to rape,to all others crimes, from psyhcological abuse, forgiveness doesnt mean what happened to us is discounted, excused, overlooked, disregarded, trivialized, or the offense is being minimized for but its choosing to help yourself move on.

so, why is it hard to forgive???


.. we people find it hard to forgive because we have been hurt
.. we have been offended
.. the thing done may have caused us shame
.. we just cant let go
.. we focus on what we mght have lost person or thing
.. we want to carry it like a knapsack on our back
.. we just dont want to forgive
.. we even wish the other person to hell (....hmmmm not knowing that eventually that unforgiveness may take them there too.)


Unresolved anger is often a factor in addictive and compulsive behaviors and relapse. Holding on to old anger can cause people to avoid conflict, procrastinate, and give up their needs. It can poison relationships and prevent true intimacy. It breeds bitterness, resentment, mistrust and fear.

"People who carry around a lot of resentment tend to be more reactive to day-to-day situations," said Rosemary Hartman, supervisor of the Hazelden Family Program in Center City, Minn. "If a driver makes a slight error in judgment on the highway, some people may react by screaming or shaking a fist at the driver--not because of the actual occurrence, but because they have a huge bank of anger inside that is tapped with the slightest provocation.

Many people have a lot of anger inside them, but not realize it. Accepting that we are angry and identifying the reasons why, may help us begin to let go. We need to work through the anger and move beyond it to forgiveness and reconciliation. Otherwise, were just stuck in a cycle of resentment and bitterness."

Forgiveness does not mean forgetting. Forgiveness does not mean martyrdom. Forgiveness does not guarantee trust or reconciliation. BUT.....

according to ...
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross identified denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance as the five stages of grieving (or dying, or loss). Forgiveness is what you do when acceptance is not enough, when you've lost something important -- a relationship, a dream, a self-image, a physical ability -- and you still feel empty or bitter inside.You start forgiving the other person for having died or having left you or having injured you. Forgiveness completes the grieving process, allowing you not only to “move on,” but to become stronger and more loving.


FORGIVENESS – is giving love when theres no reason specially if the person does not deserve it. Unforgiveness and not letting go can lead us to completely miss the opportunity weve been given to learn about real love. healing and peace. ... By embracing forgiveness, we embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy... and also....forgiving always feels better than hating and hurting.

NIGHTLY REFLECTIONS

1.What have I done today?
2.Where have I strayed?
3.What good have I commited?

Something to think about every night before we sleep.

ON PRAYER

PRAYER
- sometimes blessings or answers to our prayers come disguised in forms that are difficult to appreciate

When what youre asking is not right, God says NO
When the time is not right, God says SLOW
When you are not right, God says GROW
When everything is right, God says GO.

- God answers prayers, sometimes when hearts are weak, He gives the very gifts believers seek.
But often faith must learn a deeper test, and trust God’s silence when He does not speak:
For He will send the best. For God is true
His promises are sure for those who seek.

Prayer is not the spare tire we pull out when we feel our life has gone flat, it’s the steering wheel that helps direct ones life in the right path

YOUR PRAYERS ... ANSWERED OR NOT?

Ah.. Prayers here are some reflections and common things we read about it, there are alot of quotes out there regarding prayer but here are a few of my favorites.. i do believe that every prayer is answered, mostly not on our terms BUT on what God thinks is best for us, most times we really do not understand but eventually we do. For our answered prayers.. always remember to THANK GOD for it, for those we think that are up to present unanswered..... lets wait and be patient on God... we need to keep our peace, and trust He knows better.... after all...
He never is late, and is always right on time.:)


PRAYER
- sometimes blessings or answers to our prayers come disguised in forms that are difficult to appreciate

When what youre asking is not right, God says NO
When the time is not right, God says SLOW
When you are not right, God says GROW
When everything is right, God says GO.

- God answers prayers, sometimes when hearts are weak, He gives the very gifts believers seek.
But often faith must learn a deeper test, and trust God’s silence when He does not speak:
For He will send the best. For God is true
His promises are sure for those who seek.

Prayer is not the spare tire we pull out when we feel our life has gone flat, it’s the steering wheel that helps direct ones life in the right path

IF I HAD KNOWN

IF I HAD KNOWN– May Carolyn Davies

If I had known what trouble you were bearing
What griefs were in the silence of your face
I would have been more caring
And tried to give you gladness for a change
I would have brought warmth into the place
If I had known.

If I had known what thoughts despairing drew you
I would have lent a little friendship with you and slipped my hand within you.
And made your stay more pleasant in the land,
If I had known.

on Death and DYING

- you tell me am dying, I tell you that’s not so
the “house” I live in is worn out and that of course I know
It has been in use a long while, it weathered many gale
Im really surprised you think its getting frail
The color changing on the roof, the windows getting dim
The walls a bit transparent and looking rather thin
The foundations not steady, as once it used to be
My “house is getting shaky, but my “ house” isn’t me

My few short years, cant make me old, I feel am in my youth
Eternity lies just ahead, a life of joy and truth
Im going to live forever there life will go on – its grand
You tell me am dying, You just don’t understand
The Dweller in my “house” is young and bright and gay
Just starting a life to last throughout eternal day
You only see the outside, which is all that most folks see
You tell me I am dying? You’ve mixed my “ house” with me
The house you covered with sand this … (month)
Will lay still, will undergo decay
But I have soared beyond, have found my niche on heaven
Mourn not for me, my dear, at last I am safe in Him!

CANCER .... is limited,,,,,

CANCER IS LIMITED - dan richardson
It cannot cripple love
It cannot shatter hope
It cannot corrode faith
It cannot eat away peace
It cannot destroy confidence
It cannot kill friendship
It cannot shut out memories
It cannot silence courage
It cannot invade the soul
It cannot reduce eternal life
It cannot quench the spirit
It cannot lessen the power of the resurrection

A TRIBUTE TO ALL MOTHERS

to all the sons and daughters out there cheers to your Moms! I love you Mommy!

What does it take to be one?

A lot! From what I have observed , it takes a 24/7 job plus a few more ….it starts the moment you realize your pregnant, and theres a life you carry with you and within you, then comes the body and hormonal changes, then the trips to the Ob-Gyne, then the things you cannot do and can only do, the things you cannot eat and eat , frequent travels to the comfort room, backaches, water retention all these while infanticipating…. ahah! That is only the introduction…

Then comes the day the baby goes out either via normal route or C-section, no amount of pain killers nor explanations can describe the pains mothers go through, the time baby decides its now the right time to go out of baby’s secure world. And for Mommys- breastfeedings , then the sleepless nights, diaper changes, sick little baby episodes, teething, experimenting to lay on their chests, then sit, then crawl , teething, walk and talk , ah… and of course the Joys of being a mommy: that no any amount of money can buy : the look, the baby smell, the depending on you, wanting only you for themselves, wiping tears, the hugs, the kisses, the smiles and the sticky ones too, sigh…. babies…

.. and then they start to grow and discover things on their own, Mom now becomes the jack of all trades, specially the working moms, as I said earlier a 24/7 job… you morph into the Nurse, Doctor, Chef, driver, dishwasher, craftsmaker, a talented sewer, janitor, accountant, teacher, playmate, comforter, guidance counselor, cheerleader, story teller, magician, comedian, judge, lawyer, police trouble shooter, fashion consultant etc.. name it she might have done it… oh, did I mention wife and sex siren? all rolled into one Webster definition….. Mom, Mommy, Mama. One Jewish proverb states that : GOD couldn’t be everywhere at the same time and therefore He made Mothers.

To be a parent is to be a miracle worker of some sort. You have to mold, shape and develop children into the kind of person that God meant your children to be. With children, its always a mix of gentleness and firmness. They must not always have their own way, for if you give up your authority once, you will hardly get it again.

As someone said… no any person can replace Mothers no-one. And also the famous saying of William S. Ross – “the hand that rocks the cradles rules the world”. Most of all the other beautiful things in life comes by Twos and threes, by dozens and hundreds. Plenty of sunrise, sunsets, rainbows, brothers and sister, but only one mother in the whole world.

One day in my life, I called her, full of tears, sadness, resentment and disappointments with all the things that was happening in my life, My mom listened quietly in the other line, after I finished telling her my woes, she said the magic words that helped tell me I was not alone, I was understood and most of all that I was loved, she said, in a voice that told me, I was not the only person crying, “Miles, come home“..

Come Mother’s Day –
We should remember how we can make her feel we love her much and appreciate her for being there guiding us, loving us, or just being there for us, understanding us, supporting us, forgiving us, or if your at odds with her, forgiving her, understanding her, loving her…… When was the last time we got to visit her? embrace her? Kiss her? Had her time off? Made good our promises to her? Or plainly did something for her? Tell you love her? Had your picture taken with her? Life is short….. if your Mother, mother figure , is still alive….. do it now tell her now.